When Walls Come Tumbling Down

Preface: This post might get a bit deep...just don't want to catch anyone off guard.

Im not quite sure how to set this up because it takes a few different trains of thought to get to the final story here, so I guess I will list those first:

1) In my acting class today we began thinking about our big showcase projects. They need to include various elements of theatre and do not have to be set up like a play, rather they should be more about symbolism, a metaphor, or something meaningful. To give an example, our professor talked about a student athlete who is perceived by the world as fierce, but she is actually really shy and kind, and this is what she wanted to show the world...who she really thinks she is.

2) I have noticed that I find my acting class to be my favorite parts of every week. Being in the class is fun because each of us so quickly had to become comfortable with the class. I also have found that theatre has always been a love of mine, but now I know its because I enjoy acting so much. It allows me to convey emotions that aren't seen everyday...they may be felt but not seen. I think this is because it makes us vulnerable, but I have realized I like this feeling because the people in my class respect it. 

Take movies for instance. People tend to either really like a movie because they can identify with someone in it, or they think it is over the top and cheesy. I have found that often both of these things occur because in movies emotions are exaggerated...or are they? I think that we don't normally display our emotions to the point characters do, but I think we frequently feel them to that extent. 

3) I love music because it can capture a mood, feeling, or moment so perfectly. Along with this, I found a cover last night by The Fray that is perfect. It summed up how I was feeling last night during my quiet time with God and exactly how I was feeling today.

So, to bring these three thoughts together: 

I had just left my acting class where my teacher finished on the thought of the student who wanted the world to know who she really was. I had a long walk from one end of campus to the other, so I decided to turn on my iPod. I was in a thoughtful mood after the teacher's discussion so I decided to turn on the song I discovered last night that captured my mood perfectly. (If you know anything about The Fray you might understand the mood Im talking about.) The snow was steady, but not like a blizzard, so it was quiet out, yet busy. There were a lot of people heading to morning classes. I just took a few minutes to watch everyone while I walked. Not many people were interacting and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. That is when I thought, if just for one day everyone were to walk around with a single word on a t-shirt that captured who we each think we are what would they say? Would our friends and classmates be surprised? How different would they be from how we are stereotyped? Could we even convince ourselves to participate?

It comes down to vulnerability. Are we willing to be vulnerable with the world and show who we really think we are and not be who the world wants us to be? In this last semester I can see that God is helping me to become who I think I am, even in my everyday life. I believe that this may even be the reason He took me the route of acting, to open me up. Being vulnerable is honestly one of the hardest, scariest things to face, but once its done it is so incredibly rewarding I can't put it into words! I have been blessed with opportunities to learn the power and freedom of showing who I think I am in my acting class, but it also has transferred to various personal relationships and even being honest with what I want to do as a career. I now fully understand that vulnerability is a good thing and though it is sometimes not accepted, those who truly care will appreciate it.

It is terrifying, but I challenge you to be vulnerable. Start small and work your way up. Maybe you don't have to begin with wearing the t-shirt, but at least give some thought to what your word might be. I'll start...

feeling- I have discovered that I feel things, good and bad, with my whole heart. This is why I have come to love acting; I get to break down the walls I have always held up in the outside world and convey feelings through characters and their worlds, but I also get to watch others do the same. 

Big Day!

No, no, no...its not my big day. I have no idea when that might be. I might need to get a boyfriend first! But enough with that, it has been a big day for me here in Kentucky.
First thing is first, I realized I have absolutely nothing standing between myself and spring break other than my physical presence in two classes. It would have been four on any normal week, but two professors have decided they would like to finish up early. Im not going to argue with that! So, today I began my spring break to do list: read some books for fun, catch up on Netflix, and read The Londoner to help me plan for my big news of the day...
Next, I got a phone call with a congratulations on acceptance to St. Andrews to study abroad there for my junior year! I had been in the process of mentally preparing myself for what a year abroad might be like, but then held myself back incase I wasn't accepted. So, today, upon receiving the phone call, I let it finally set in. A WHOLE YEAR IN SCOTLAND!!! WHAT?! The things that keep running through my head are insane! To actually think about what can happen in the length of a year!
Once I filled my parents in, things began to sink in even further as we started looking into flights! We began looking at flights for BOTH of my programs. I am spending three weeks in London studying theatre on a once in a life time trip this summer, returning back to the states for 21 days, then flying back across the pond to Scotland for a year. Im am in heaven.
To celebrate this big news in my life Taylor and I splurged on Mexican and DQ (yes, splurged...college).

At this point in time I am pretty sure my mind is just having a hard time wrapping itself around the idea that I will be gone for a whole year. I don't think it will actually set in until I am leaving. At this point though I am about 98% sure these experiences will change my life forever. I am not sure how yet, but I guess we will just have to wait and see. I will have a whole year of blogs to fill you in on how my life does change and thankfully I have Taylor's blog to keep track of how life is changing here in Lex!
 Finally, I am in disbelief that God has blessed me with such huge opportunities. I am not sure why He has given me such a passion for the United Kingdom or why it is that He continues to lead me there, but I will accept it and hopefully fulfill whatever His will is for me while I am there. Who knows, maybe it is just all part of a bigger plan! Anyhow, until I leave I am going to allow myself some excitement, but I am going to try to focus on living my life here and cherishing the time I have with sweet friends like Taylor who celebrated such exciting news with me!

Passionately Obsessed!

Now that I have a blog makeover, including the new title, I thought I would venture to give it a little explanation!
It is no small secret to the people who know me fairly well that when I am passionate about something it turns into a bit of an obsession. Its odd that I actually went with this title, though, because I don't actually like the word obsessed. I always think of it with a negative connotation and creeper status, but that is not what I mean by it. I refer to the word as in the sense that I talk about my favorite things a lot, but I don't feel as if I am on the level of creeper. If I was, I would acknowledge it!

Any how, just to give you a little more insight into my life, the two things that I am most passionate about are the United Kingdom and theatre.
First is the UK. I am not actually sure what it is that got me hooked to the place, its culture, and its people...but I am. Maybe its because its my roots, or that I feel I fit in there, or their fashion, or even the accents. I went there for the first time this past summer as many of you know, and I fell even more in love than I already was. I loved the feel good food: jacket potatoes, pasties, sticky toffee pudding, shall I go on? Then comes their fashion sense that includes everything from Barbour jackets paired with some wellies, to Burberry, Issa, Daniel Wellington, and lets not forget Alexander McQueen. Again this list also goes on and on. Then there are the royals. I just think this history of the monarchy and the fact that there is one is pretty cool! Their charity work is pretty awesome too! Other than the materials of the UK I fell in love with the landscape...green for days! Yes, you need rain for green, but I don't mind it! Also, this rain contributes to some of the most beautiful flowers and gardens. Oh, and let's not forget to mention that a girl has got to love a good accent! I could talk about the UK for days, but I wont bore you with that now; you will get to read enough when I return to London this summer and Scotland for next academic year! Oh, and speaking of their awesome fashion, my outfit for the day is a british original! (I love that I don't get weird looks dressing like this in college, whereas in high school I would never have heard the end of it!)

Moving on is my second biggest passion, theatre! I am in love with everything about the art form, all the way from musicals to film and everything in between. This love began when I was eight years old when I saw my first show on Broadway. Ever since that show in NYC I have been involved in theatre as a small hobby on the side. I had always dreamed of doing more with it when I was younger, but then reality set in and I realized a career in the arts is difficult and not too realistic. I gave up that dream, but for some reason theatre and its different forms have been creeping in and out of my life forever. The most recent example of this is that I realized I will have extra hours to fill while in college, so I decided to pick up a second minor. When considering what to do I landed on theatre as it has always been a fun hobby and my major and other minor are very practical, so I went with something I would thoroughly enjoy. Now that I have begun classes for theatre I have realized I don't think I am ever going to out run its creeping in and out of my life. I love it too much and it is far too thought provoking for me. I have realized it is my one true passion in life. A few days after this revelation I read the most appropriate quote from Steven Spielberg that says," A dream doesn't come at you screaming, it whispers; it rarely shouts, it whispers."
I think this might be the path for me. I have prayed about it a ton and I feel that it may be what God wants be to do as my way to serve others as theatre has served me (more on that later!) Now that I have realized all of this, I am working on making this dream a reality and I have even begun to explore grad school options to get a Masters in Fine Arts.
So, this is a little piece, actually more like a large chunk, of me and my life. After reading, I hope you get to see why I went with Passionately Obsessed!