Im not quite sure how to set this up because it takes a few different trains of thought to get to the final story here, so I guess I will list those first:
1) In my acting class today we began thinking about our big showcase projects. They need to include various elements of theatre and do not have to be set up like a play, rather they should be more about symbolism, a metaphor, or something meaningful. To give an example, our professor talked about a student athlete who is perceived by the world as fierce, but she is actually really shy and kind, and this is what she wanted to show the world...who she really thinks she is.
2) I have noticed that I find my acting class to be my favorite parts of every week. Being in the class is fun because each of us so quickly had to become comfortable with the class. I also have found that theatre has always been a love of mine, but now I know its because I enjoy acting so much. It allows me to convey emotions that aren't seen everyday...they may be felt but not seen. I think this is because it makes us vulnerable, but I have realized I like this feeling because the people in my class respect it.
Take movies for instance. People tend to either really like a movie because they can identify with someone in it, or they think it is over the top and cheesy. I have found that often both of these things occur because in movies emotions are exaggerated...or are they? I think that we don't normally display our emotions to the point characters do, but I think we frequently feel them to that extent.
3) I love music because it can capture a mood, feeling, or moment so perfectly. Along with this, I found a cover last night by The Fray that is perfect. It summed up how I was feeling last night during my quiet time with God and exactly how I was feeling today.
So, to bring these three thoughts together:
I had just left my acting class where my teacher finished on the thought of the student who wanted the world to know who she really was. I had a long walk from one end of campus to the other, so I decided to turn on my iPod. I was in a thoughtful mood after the teacher's discussion so I decided to turn on the song I discovered last night that captured my mood perfectly. (If you know anything about The Fray you might understand the mood Im talking about.) The snow was steady, but not like a blizzard, so it was quiet out, yet busy. There were a lot of people heading to morning classes. I just took a few minutes to watch everyone while I walked. Not many people were interacting and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. That is when I thought, if just for one day everyone were to walk around with a single word on a t-shirt that captured who we each think we are what would they say? Would our friends and classmates be surprised? How different would they be from how we are stereotyped? Could we even convince ourselves to participate?
It comes down to vulnerability. Are we willing to be vulnerable with the world and show who we really think we are and not be who the world wants us to be? In this last semester I can see that God is helping me to become who I think I am, even in my everyday life. I believe that this may even be the reason He took me the route of acting, to open me up. Being vulnerable is honestly one of the hardest, scariest things to face, but once its done it is so incredibly rewarding I can't put it into words! I have been blessed with opportunities to learn the power and freedom of showing who I think I am in my acting class, but it also has transferred to various personal relationships and even being honest with what I want to do as a career. I now fully understand that vulnerability is a good thing and though it is sometimes not accepted, those who truly care will appreciate it.
It is terrifying, but I challenge you to be vulnerable. Start small and work your way up. Maybe you don't have to begin with wearing the t-shirt, but at least give some thought to what your word might be. I'll start...
feeling- I have discovered that I feel things, good and bad, with my whole heart. This is why I have come to love acting; I get to break down the walls I have always held up in the outside world and convey feelings through characters and their worlds, but I also get to watch others do the same.
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