Thursday, June 26, 2014

101 in 1001 Update!

101 in 1001

For the Goal Setter
1.     Learn to cook fresh meals with no recipes
2.     Host 5 dinner parties (0/5)
3.     Make a budget and stick to it for three months
4.     Land my first real world job
5.     Go without social media for a week, do this three times (0/3)
6.     Don’t eat out for one month
7.     Watch at least 25 of IMDB Top 100 movies that I haven't seen (6/25 "12 Years a Slave" "Gravity" "Rear Window" "Stand By Me" "Singin in the Rain" "Million Dollar Baby") 
8.     Read 5 NY Times Bestsellers not already read (0/5)
9.     Learn to cook 10 of my Grandma’s best recipes (2/10 Melting Moments, Chocolate Crisp Cookies)
10.  Become financially independent
11.  Make a meal plan and stick to it for a month
12.  Learn to sew
13.  Learn about stocks and invest in three (0/3)
14.  Read 10 of the BBC Top 100 Books (1/10 The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe;)
15.  Make 5 desserts from scratch (1/5 Summer Parfait with homemade cool whip)

For the Adventurer
16.  Start a small garden of herbs and common veggies and maintain it for one growing season
17.  Make someone feel awkward in an elevator
18.  Go skydiving
19.  Dance like crazy with my Ipod in public and film it
20.  Hit on a guy
21.  Do the Portland, Seattle, Vancouver trip with my dad
22.  Have a staycation in Lexington or Cincinnati
23.  Go to 10 new (non-chain) bars or restaurants in my home towns (5/10 "Wandabar" "OKBB" "Northlime Coffee and Donuts" "Strongs Pizza" "Cup of Commonwealth")
24.  Eat only locally grown/ raised foods for one week, do this three times (0/3)
25. Visit a continent I have not been to (Asia)
26.  Go to 3 states I have never been to
27.  Explore another country with a friend (Italy, Greece and Turkey with Molly)
28.  Visit 5 new countries (Greece, Italy, Turkey, Ireland, Vatican City?)
29.  Road trip with no destination
30.  Go on a multiple destination road trip with friends (Cruise with Molly)
31.  Ski out West
32.  Buy a pair of designer jeans
33.  Take a picture in 10 Once in a Lifetime moments (7/10) 
Stood where Paul gave his speech to the Athenians
Took a culinary tour of Istanbul!
 Made Turkish bread in Turkish restaurant in Istanbul
 Mass in the Vatican
Saw the Pope
Climbed down part of the Cliffs of Moher
Celebrated my last day on a year abroad

34.  Show a friend around Kentucky
35.  Go to Napa Valley
36.  Complete the Bourbon Trail
37.  Go to the Kentucky Derby
38.  Do the Oscar Nominated movie marathon in theatres
39.  Join a Fantasy Football League for a season
40.  Do 3 completely spontaneous things (2/3)  Church in Vatican, Climbed down part of the Cliffs of Moher)

For My Relationship
41.  Write a journal of scripture, thoughts and prayers for a future husband
42.  Pray for my future husband
43.  Study Proverbs 31 in depth 
44.  Pray for my heart to be ready to share
45.  Prepare myself to be ready to get to include someone else in life
46.  Talk in-depth and realistically with a faithful married woman about a Godly relationship
47.  Kiss in the rain
48.  Make a list of 50 Things You Should Know to Understand Me for my future husband

For My Faith
49.  Memorize 30 verses (0/30)
50.  Get plugged in at a church when I move after college
51.  Join a new bible study after college
52.  Read the whole bible
53.  Devote 30 full minutes to God a day for a month at least 3 times (1/3)
54.  Find a Godly mentor for this time in my life
55.  Read 10 faith based books (0/10)
56.  Journal everyday for a month, do this twice (1/2) Feb-March 2014
57.  Complete the K-Love 30 Day Challenge
58.  Get an accountability partner
59.  Invest deeply in a friend’s prayer requests every week for two months, do this twice (1/2)

For Others
60.  Send a friend flowers who won’t be expecting them
61.  Help plan a wedding other than my own
62.  Go on a mission trip
63.  Pay for a stranger’s coffee
64.  Have 10 meaningful conversations with long-distance friends (2/10)
65.  Serve others on Christmas Day
66.  Make a meal and deliver it to someone
67.  Buy something meaningful for a loved one
68.  Surprise a friend or loved one
69.  Invest in someone else’s dream
70.  Leave a 100% tip
71.  Do something special for my parents
72.  Pay for a meal for my whole family
73.  Send my brother and sister-in-law something special for their 1st Anniversary
74.  Make dinner for The Cottage
75.  Make breakfast in bed for a friend
76.  Leave 101 inspirational notes (3/101)

For My Career
77.  Move to LA
78.  Pay for headshots with a well known, professional headshot photographer
79.  Get an agent
80.  Get an internship in LA in the entertainment industry
81.  Begin my own network with my own professional contacts
82.  Land my first on screen roll
83.  Subscribe to Hollywood Reporter
84.  Subscribe to IMDB Pro
85.  Watch every movie in which an actress won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Roll (0/86)
86.  Research directors and screen writers and keep up with my 3 favorites in each category
87.  Study 10 different actor/actress’s work in depth (2/10) (Claire Danes, Jennifer Lawrence)

For My Health
88.  Do a detox three times (0/3)
89.  Go without sweets for one month
90.  Go on a three hour hike at least three times (1/3 Cliffs of Moher)
91.  Join a yoga studio
92.  Work out for at least 45 minutes, 5 days per week, for 3 months
93.  Do two a days for two weeks, do this twice (0/2)
94.  Rehab my knees and hips everyday for a month
95.  Run a race with friends/family
96.  Get sponsors to run a race for a good cause
97.  Meditate for 10 minutes per day for 1 month straight
98.  Shop only the perimeter of the grocery store or the organic section for 1 month
99.  Drink a cup of herbal tea every night for two weeks, do this five times (1/5)
100.                 Drink 60 ounces of water per day for 30 days, do this three times (3/3)
101.                 Read for 30 min for 30 days straight

Sunday, June 1, 2014

A Foreign Me on Domestic Soil

This is it friends! This is likely my last post on my year abroad for a while, and maybe even my last post for a while. Im not quite sure yet on the latter; I am deactivating my Facebook for a solid chunk of the summer as I'm itching to get away from social media for a while, but feel free to check back occasionally for blog posts!
Anyway, on to the real subject...my last abroad post. As I promised two posts ago, I will share on being abroad. For the week that I have been home I have been running around like crazy grabbing meals here and there with friends, coffee with other acquaintances, running errands, doing much needed cleaning, and swinging by appointments galore. Its not an exaggeration saying that today has really been the first day since I have been home that I did nothing, and I sat still in my house for longer than twenty minutes. Here is the thing though, about two days ago I realized all of this keeping busy has really just been myself creating a diversion to not deal with my "Reverse Culture Shock." Yes, you read that correctly!
Since being home I realized I have been in a weird funk/mood and my attitude seemed off. While chatting with someone older and wiser than myself who did part of their education abroad as well, they said, "Let me guess, when people ask how your year abroad was you don't know what to say? You are not able to put it into words are you?" Well, she hit the nail on the head! Not only can I not put my year abroad into words, but I am also struggling to put how it feels to be back into words, which is another frequent question. To help with this I decided to look up if it is an actual "thing" for people who have been abroad. It is. Reverse Culture Shock. I know, I know, it sounds lame and I hate using it because I feel like everyone wants to say well you were only in the UK, which isn't that different, but it really really is! So, below I will define what Reverse Culture Shock is and how I am dealing with it. Even if you are uninterested in my experience with this, which is totally valid, I hope you take the time to read the following incase someone you know ever goes through this. As far as my personal acquaintances go, I hope you read it to better understand how I may be acting so as not to take things personally if I offend you because I promise I don't mean it!

Reverse Culture Shock: when returning home from a foreign place, it is the feelings one experiences when reality does not meet the expectations of complete familiarity and the idealized version of home. It typically comes in four phases disengagement, initial euphoria, irritability and hostility, and readjustment and adaptation. 

Disengagement happens before leaving the host country when you begin to prepare to leave and disengage yourself from your host. For me, this took place before heading off to London with my mom and then gradually has I went from playing host in the UK to tourist in Ireland.

Initial euphoria is fairly self explanatory. It is the much anticipated excitement felt upon arriving home and seeing friends and family. Slowly though, this transitions into the next phase. For me, the initial euphoria didn't last too long as I jumped into life at home so head on. Within a day or two, after fielding questions about how was abroad and how is home multiple times already, I found myself feeling more confused and out of place than euphoric.

Next is irritability and hostility. This is the stage I am currently in. I don't mean this to come off negative as I know it will work itself out eventually (most sources say it depends on the person and can be anywhere from a week or two up to a year.) These feelings aren't me being upset with others, but more my situations and confusion. I am feeling a bit lonely due to the fact that no one understands my year, how could they? The problem is, I am having trouble describing my year to help others understand my up's and down's which have made me a completely different person. I also often feel misunderstood, whether it be because I seem negative, but really Im just trying to readjust to life here, or it be because I am a different person and friends and family remember the old me and that is not who they are now talking to, or it be because I wear different clothes which people misunderstand as me trying to attract attention, but really it is now my normal attire. In addition, I feel like a stranger in my own home (places and people) which can be extremely alienating. I know this is not a result of anything anyone has done, it just happens. Both Cincinnati and Lexington have changed vastly in the year that I have been gone. When driving through UK's campus I almost broke into tears as I, for the first time, realized I was not going back to familiar St. Andrews and instead was going back to my old school which actually felt like one I had never been to before. It almost felt like driving through campus after freshman orientation, but before starting my freshmen year- familiar yet still fairly foreign. Also, I feel like a stranger in the communities of friends I have at home and school. New people have joined them and many of the familiar faces I knew have graduated; few of the people left seem to know who I am and I do not know them. Plus, things got really weird when I realized as little as my friends know and understand about the different me is also how little I feel like I know about them. They changed too which is only logical. Not only has time changed people and places, I feel misunderstood at times and like a stranger or lonely at others, but most things just feel different. This is not a bad thing, simply an unexpected one. I think most of us could agree that the first thing we expect upon arriving home from anywhere is comfort. My room feels different- Im no longer a teenager nor for the first time do I really feel like one, but it looks like 12 year old me still lives here. Driving feels very different and I am worse at it than ever before. Eating out and looking at a menu is currently making me lose my appetite. The foods I craved while abroad first semester (candy, burgers, wings, desserts, party foods, snacks, etc) have no attraction...I just want steamed veg! Going to Walmart put me into a fit of hysterics (I was crying because I was laughing so hard at how repulsed I was by the mass amounts of crappy food in one isle for such cheap prices.) My school feels different, friends feel different, my faith feels different. 
Friends, if you are reading this, I am so sorry if I seem irritable, hostile, or the like, I am just dealing with feelings that I have never experienced before and they are revolving around my most personal aspects of life, the people and places of home.

Eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later, the above will turn in to the fourth and final phase, readjustment and adaptation. I am lucky enough to already have people by my side helping me with this even though I don't think they know it. I have had a few conversations now where I quickly turn questioning to who I am with instead of telling them about my year. Having others fill me in on their lives as well as friends lives is really helping me cope and feel less like someone on the outside looking in. I also have been offered the opportunity by the wise woman above the chance to come talk whenever I need it since she said this coming year will likely be as interesting, difficult and rewarding as my last one. 

I know this was extremely long winded, but I hope you are able to use this post to either deal with the different person that I am, or simply to understand that I'm not meaning to offend anyone in the coming months, or to use it with your own friends and family who may also deal with reverse culture shock. Also, please know that this is not at all a complaint on my part, rather it is the final learning experience for me on this year's journey of extreme high's and low's, making some of the best friends of my life, figuring out who I am, defining who I am in my faith without the normal support of my community, and learning about how small I am in this diverse, beautiful world of ours. It is also the first learning experience in the rewarding, yet challenging year to come of taking who I figured out that am and applying to my life ambitions as well as adapting to life and relationships back in Kentucky after allowing the world to mold who I have become. 


Passionately Obsessed


 
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