A Penny For Your Thoughts

So there is this thing, this thing called vulnerability...

I have learned a lot about the action of it in drastic ways over the last year. I have become vulnerable and shared my deepest stories, thoughts, and dreams, none of which were easy to do. I have also witnessed the action of becoming vulnerable a few times in the last year. Each one was as deeply beautiful and wonderful as the next.

I felt the need to write this blog post because I have been watching a lot of TED talks lately and multiple videos have touched on this topic. One of these videos is linked here of a young woman, Sarah Kay, who discovered the power of vulnerability through the art of spoken word poetry. Her poems are beautiful and each one shares something genuine, and a piece of who she is. The video explains the power of her craft. I encourage you to watch the whole thing, but if you don't have time at least watch the first four minutes or so. The lessons in this video are a great intro to the following post.

So...

Vulnerability...

Vulnerability is defined as: the state of being vulnerable or exposed; capable of being physically or emotionally wounded.

Based on this definition, if you are anything like me you think "why on earth would you open yourself up to being exposed and wounded?" Its scary and its really really difficult to become vulnerable with others; I can tell you from personal experience.

Vulnerability has this weird power though. It so often works out that you don't discover this power and do not have the opportunity to share in it until you become vulnerable or experience someone who does. The power that I am talking about is a connectedness that you share with everyone who lets their walls down as you yourself do when you become vulnerable. When your walls come tumbling down you may not have the same or even a similar story to the person with whom you are sharing the moment, but if they know what that feeling is like, the one of becoming vulnerable, they share this unspeakable compassion with you. They may not even speak the same language as you, but they know you have a story that means something to you and your life, and they know what that feels like.

The moment of becoming vulnerable and sharing a large piece of yourself with others, whether it has been done once or a thousand times, never changes. This moment, this moment isn't comfortable, its scary and nerve racking, yet rewarding and unlike any other feeling in the world. This moment and the connection it creates between people unifies us because it strips each of us to our core. It helps others to identify with you, it makes people feel passion and compassion, it creates courage, it can produce the universal languages- tears and laughter; vulnerability creates an unspoken bond between humans. This is beauty...this is true peace at its very finest. It is how God meant for humans to interact.

So, no matter where you are in life, what you are doing, or who your are, the next time you have the opportunity to become vulnerable, I challenge you to do so. I'll be honest, it will be though, but it will also be enormously rewarding. I ask this as not only a challenge, but as a favor. It would be a favor because I am someone who believes that there is peace somewhere inside all of us, and this is just one small step in acknowledging it in ourselves and others. I believe vulnerability is a step in making the world a better, more peaceful place.

When Walls Come Tumbling Down

Preface: This post might get a bit deep...just don't want to catch anyone off guard.

Im not quite sure how to set this up because it takes a few different trains of thought to get to the final story here, so I guess I will list those first:

1) In my acting class today we began thinking about our big showcase projects. They need to include various elements of theatre and do not have to be set up like a play, rather they should be more about symbolism, a metaphor, or something meaningful. To give an example, our professor talked about a student athlete who is perceived by the world as fierce, but she is actually really shy and kind, and this is what she wanted to show the world...who she really thinks she is.

2) I have noticed that I find my acting class to be my favorite parts of every week. Being in the class is fun because each of us so quickly had to become comfortable with the class. I also have found that theatre has always been a love of mine, but now I know its because I enjoy acting so much. It allows me to convey emotions that aren't seen everyday...they may be felt but not seen. I think this is because it makes us vulnerable, but I have realized I like this feeling because the people in my class respect it. 

Take movies for instance. People tend to either really like a movie because they can identify with someone in it, or they think it is over the top and cheesy. I have found that often both of these things occur because in movies emotions are exaggerated...or are they? I think that we don't normally display our emotions to the point characters do, but I think we frequently feel them to that extent. 

3) I love music because it can capture a mood, feeling, or moment so perfectly. Along with this, I found a cover last night by The Fray that is perfect. It summed up how I was feeling last night during my quiet time with God and exactly how I was feeling today.

So, to bring these three thoughts together: 

I had just left my acting class where my teacher finished on the thought of the student who wanted the world to know who she really was. I had a long walk from one end of campus to the other, so I decided to turn on my iPod. I was in a thoughtful mood after the teacher's discussion so I decided to turn on the song I discovered last night that captured my mood perfectly. (If you know anything about The Fray you might understand the mood Im talking about.) The snow was steady, but not like a blizzard, so it was quiet out, yet busy. There were a lot of people heading to morning classes. I just took a few minutes to watch everyone while I walked. Not many people were interacting and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. That is when I thought, if just for one day everyone were to walk around with a single word on a t-shirt that captured who we each think we are what would they say? Would our friends and classmates be surprised? How different would they be from how we are stereotyped? Could we even convince ourselves to participate?

It comes down to vulnerability. Are we willing to be vulnerable with the world and show who we really think we are and not be who the world wants us to be? In this last semester I can see that God is helping me to become who I think I am, even in my everyday life. I believe that this may even be the reason He took me the route of acting, to open me up. Being vulnerable is honestly one of the hardest, scariest things to face, but once its done it is so incredibly rewarding I can't put it into words! I have been blessed with opportunities to learn the power and freedom of showing who I think I am in my acting class, but it also has transferred to various personal relationships and even being honest with what I want to do as a career. I now fully understand that vulnerability is a good thing and though it is sometimes not accepted, those who truly care will appreciate it.

It is terrifying, but I challenge you to be vulnerable. Start small and work your way up. Maybe you don't have to begin with wearing the t-shirt, but at least give some thought to what your word might be. I'll start...

feeling- I have discovered that I feel things, good and bad, with my whole heart. This is why I have come to love acting; I get to break down the walls I have always held up in the outside world and convey feelings through characters and their worlds, but I also get to watch others do the same.