First though, I would like a little bit of preface to what you are, or maybe aren't (because it is so long,) about to read. The below are the conclusive, more concise (yes really!), notes I took on the last day of my semester long Proverbs 31 study. The notes follow along with the last chapter of Proverbs verse by verse and are basically what my final thoughts and conclusions were on each verse, or what I most wanted to take away from a specific verse. I would like to add here that my language may seem a bit weird as some of it seems that I write as if I already have a husband or that I am assuming I will for sure get one in the future; this is not so, but rather it is what I feel must be done to be deserving of a husband and the goals when actually in a marriage. It is also written in prayerful hopes of one day getting to be married and have a family. My final note before posting my actual notes is that I also write as if these things are simple and can be done all in a days time. Again, this is not what is meant...I know Rome was not built in a day, and being a Proverbs 31 wife definitely isn't achieved in a day. Being this woman is more of an aim and a goal to strive extremely hard for. This is the precise reason I took on this study before entering into a relationship of any sort, I know being this woman will not come quickly or easily. Therefore, I would like to spend my summer picking a few specific traits to work on in an effort to become more like a Proverbs 31 woman; overtime these traits will hopefully continue to build up into a more deserving and godly me!
Anyway, here is what I have picked up thus far:
Proverbs 31 Wife
1-2: This is all for the love of others and passing on God’s
word to my own, and future, generations through efforts to be a good example
and nurturing the future in a Christian home
3-4: Mother is instilling wisdom to her son at a very impressionable
time- my words should be used carefully and to empower others
PRAY: each and everyday for my heart to be a
positive influence.
5-6: Your actions and choices often affect others as much as if
not more than yourself. Apply this to a family, marriage and future. Think
about others as much as myself and how God would want me to act.
7-9: To live as a Proverbs 31 wife I must learn to stand up for
my faith and live a marriage that looks different than many in our modern
world. It will take being bold and different, but hopefully set a wonderful
example for others seeking the courage to live that life. It will all need to
be through prayer to be confident through God’s strength and dignity that is
granted to me when I call upon Him.
10: A worthy wife is of the highest honor in our world, but I
must be deserving- it is not simply granted to me. I must pray to come to know
and understand the tasks and traits this honor entails which definitely don’t
include being in competition or critical of a husband.
Having
a loving, godly spouse is a gift from the Lord, and a successful marriage is a
gift from the Lord as it is such a privilege to be entrusted with the duties of
living side by side with another sinner, yet honoring the Lord over self as
well as each other. It is also a privilege to be granted the opportunity to
spread God’s love and mercy through examples and parenting.
PRAY: to have a prepared heart to share
myself and God with a spouse, but also to gain the wisdom and traits to be
deserving of a spouse and marriage.
11: I should be someone that a husband can have full
confidence in in all areas from making decisions based on faith, to not
slandering him, or anyone else for that matter, to working each and everyday to
better myself, him, our relationship and our family. He should also be
confident that I am not too independent as to trust only in myself, but rather
I will seek both his, others, and the Lord’s wisdom in all that I do.
PRAY: I can discover new ways to work
on being a woman a man can be confident in- start with becoming better at
utilizing a full day- desire to be more productive- and seeking wisdom from the
faithful more frequently (accountability partner and/or mentor)
12: When in a relationship do not plague it with negative
outside things such as gossip, even the smallest of white lies, deceit, or
negativity unless it is to call upon his wisdom or assistance and not to vent
as that causes him to stumble as well.
PRAY: To find a venting cure and to
consider my words more carefully before I speak to avoid tripping others up in
everyday life.
13: She works hard and hand makes things, yes, but the point
is more that she is eager to do mundane tasks because she knows they are for
the Lord or at least honoring him and setting a good example. Furthermore, she
works hard to rest hard as the Lord condemns not rest, but laziness.
14: She secures her provisions from afar- in other words, she
shops wisely (she attains items of good quality, yet they are cost effective.)
The practical ways to implement this can be by learning to coupon some, making
cooking a habit even when tired because foods made out of convenience are not
healthy to help mine and my family’s bodies to be nourished and energized for
the day to come. Try to cook from scratch as often as possible with healthy
foods to keep us energized and to treat our bodies like a temple that houses
the Holy Spirit.
15: This is not a command but a goal rather. Start each day
fresh with quiet time and a plan to be more productive. GOAL: I want to be a
breakfast wife! In other words I want to be up and at ‘em to be able to provide
my family with a healthy nutritious breakfast and be able to start their day
with the word at this meal!
16: She picks a field and plants a vineyard with her earnings-
could be starting a family and planting them in the word or about a woman doing
business, but either way note that she does not jump to conclusions or make
hasty decisions and instead considers what the product of her actions will be.
I must, with my husband and God, consider, buy (invest properly) then plant
(work hard day in and day out.)
PRAY: That my first thought when making
decisions is to pray and turn to God and my husband for wisdom. Also to make
the three steps part of my every day life. Pray to understand and God’s will
and know that I am on his timeline and to be accepting of this. His timing for
a relationship for me will happen when and if he wills it.
17: If I am going to work do it all at 100% and vigorously. As
it pertains to staying fit, actions such as cleaning the home and running
family can be substituted for a work out.
PRAY: To do all work at full effort and
be all there, not with my brain in a million places.
18: She works hard to get everything done in order to rest
hard. If productive all day resting early is OKAY! Do not over work as our
society so often does though because God calls us to live peacefully.
19: Mundane tasks create the haven that is a home for family
and is a blessing to everyone that enters it.
PRAY: To understand who the hated,
mundane tasks are positively influencing, how they are doing so, what it does
for them and how it honors God so that my heart desires to provide for a spouse
and family in this way.
20: Do all work for my home, family, spouse, self, others and
God humbly and quietly…my hands should speak for me. When someone looks at them
I want them to have characters, scars, and marks from the work I have done.
PRAY: To use less words and speak only
when needed and appropriate, not to complain, not for pity, etc.
21: Seek quality of goods and efforts for the Lord over
quantity to be able to weather the changes that are to come.
PRAY: When changes do come, that both I
and my husband turn first to the Lord and not the things of this world and that
we have prepared our family for change.
22: She put everyone else first, therefore her clothes are not
extravagant. Strive to look classy, but not excessive, modest yet elegant to
still represent the inner beauty God has instilled. Carefully consider
purchases.
PRAY: That when someone, especially my
spouse, sees my beauty it is from a Godly heart and way of life rather than my
outward appearance.
23: Bring honor to my husband by running a good home and do
not compete with him for the spotlight- sacrifice myself to let him shine and I
will be his jewel. Be proud of his success which will guide me.
PRAY: For a heart that is willing to
submit to, and is dependent on, a husband so that it will make our life journey
one, not separate paths.
24: Pursue benefitting from my talents when it is not
sacrificing other things for my family and Gods message.
PRAY: To come to understand my talents
and how to use them.
25: The strength and dignity are God’s and can only come from
him. If I ask, they will clothe my fears with confidence.
PRAY: That I trust in God to keep me
light hearted as he will provide me with the confidence to get me where he
wants me to be.
26: My words should be kind, gentle, and encouraging while
still being honest. Practice wisdom in what I say and ask myself if what I want
to say really needs to be said.
PRAY: To be slow in speech to protect myself
and others as speech truly does come from the heart. It may also aid in
changing how my heart views things. Also slow to speak to calm harshness and
myself.
27: #youdoyou – Keep my focus on myself, my relationship and
my household, not others. The house and family closely resemble me. If I am
lazy my house looks neglected.
28: Accolades come from inside the home, not outside sources as
my duty and goals are for the home! In return I should also recognize and
acknowledge my family’s efforts and deeds.
PRAY: For a God fearing family and a
spouse who is conducive to this goal.
29: A husband should praise his wife and as a wife I should
strive to fulfill this through my duties and satisfying him through our
relationship and family. There is nothing so satisfying as satisfying your
husband.
PRAY: To be humbled by a potential
husband and live for him, but in communion with Christ.
30: Submitting to a husband and honoring him isn’t because he
is a great person, but rather because I fear God who I also trust to guide me
through my husband.
PRAY: For consciousness of Christ in all of
life and that he is not only my priority, but also a husbands and together He
is the couples utmost priority
31: The biggest reward a wife can get is the praise of her
loved ones, but do not be proud in this. My ultimate desire is to please God
which in all honesty gets blurred by my own worldly dreams and visions.
PRAY: that I have a spouse to guide me
home as me being a Proverbs 31 wife is a joint effort with a God fearing
husband.
Final Thoughts
Plan to meet
with and watch wise, experienced women and their marriage and familys’ to learn
from them and be guided by their godly examples.
PRAY: for interaction and authentic
conversations with these women about the realities of being a Proverbs 31 wife.
To learn from examples so that I can be an example to pass on god’s love and
mercy!
PRAY: to be gentle and calm as I wait
for God’s plan which is hopefully the privilege of a spouse and the honor of
being a wife and that I enter that relationship gentle, calm and submissive,
but not as a push over. Pray to keep my focus on the inside and not the outside
so that outward things will come.
***If you have any thoughts on this post or the realities of being a Proverbs 31 wife I would greatly appreciate if you share them on here, email, or even in person over some coffee or the like!
